Let’s be honest, there’s some room for growth here.
1. Practice your kissing. Don’t underestimate the power of a good kiss. A lot of pheromones get swapped during mouth-on-mouth action. Don’t do dead lips. Put some time and effort into your makeout skills.
2. Don’t ignore her b0*bs. Don’t just jackhammer her v*gina with your fingers and assume that’s going to get her going. Women have lots of potential erogenous zones, and they vary from person to person. Grab her b0*bs, lick her nipples, and run your hand all around her body to see what works for her.
3. Get a little weird. Just because you can crank it out in 30 seconds while in missionary doesn’t mean you should. Switch things up, even if it’s subtle. You don’t have to get kinky, but maybe you should. Have fun out there.
4. GO DOWN ON HER. Are you kidding? A lot of women can’t have an orgasm through intercourse (it doesn’t stimulate the cl*toris enough). Get down there and do your job, dude
5. Compliment her. Alright, so it might be creepy to yell “you look pretty” in the middle of s*x, but make her feel wanted. And that doesn’t mean rubbing your b*ner up against her while you’re cuddling. Make sure she knows how into her you are.
6. Relax about your p3n!s. Most women don’t care as much about size as you think they do. They just want a p3n!s that’s well-groomed and doesn’t smell. Which brings us to…
7. Shower and manscape. If women have to do it, so do we. Make sure they’re not digging through pnbe brambles just to get to your p3n!s. Keep your junk well-maintained. Nothing ruins oral s*x like getting a pnbe in your mouth.
8. Be vocal. Pay attention to when your woman is super into something, and conversely, it’s OK to be vocal when she’s doing something that’s really working for you.
9. Don’t be selfish. Let’s be honest, most men could come if a stiff enough breeze blew by. Make sure you’re giving taking care of her needs before you decide to come everywhere.
10. Don’t be so self-conscious. Again, have fun! Don’t get mad if she’s not screaming within 30 seconds of placing your p3n!s inside her. Take all your stress and insecurity and let that sh!t go like you’re singing the breakout hit single from Disney’s Frozen.
11. Don’t compare yourself to other guys. Men and women both exaggerate their s*xual conquests. Just do you, homie.
12. Don’t go after drunk women. This isn’t up for discussion.
13. Saying “no” to a bl*wj*b does not make her a b!tch. There are a lot of reasons she might not be in the mood. You don’t get to put your p3n!s in her whenever you feel like it.
14. Always use protection. Maybe it does feel better without a condom. I don’t care
15. Queefing is not farting. It’s air coming out of a v*gina because s*x pushed it up there. Don’t make a face. Grow up.